Astoria has it all: Great food, great parks, killer shopping, easy access to the city and so much more. Yet it still gets a raw deal. If you live in Astoria, you’ll find yourself defending your home more often than not. People just don’t get it! That said, while their lack of hepness might bother you, it’s also slightly awesome that the rest of New York has yet to clue into just how great your neighborhood is. You like your rent the way it is! Here are 6 Things people from Astoria are SO tired of hearing.
Isn’t That Near The Airport?
Yes. Astoria is not far from LGA. But you know what? We live in a very compact but small place — we ALL live close to the airport. You airport-shaming me just because you spend $5K dollars a month for an apartment with no windows in Chelsea is fooling absolutely no one.
Oh, Like The Nanny!
On what planet is it acceptable to cheerfully invoke a similarity to Fran Drescher like it’s a good thing? Fran spent most of the time we knew her in Manhattan licking some rich British dude’s asshole and sometimes babysitting! Besides, she lived in Flushing. Flushing is not Astoria.
Cool, I’ve Been To The Beer Garden.
Oh, you have? That’s awesome. SO HAS EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THE PLANET. Look, just because you ate sausage and drank beer in the out of doors that doesn’t give you the right to act like you are well-versed in the ins and outs of the neighborhood. Quick, which way to 42nd street and Ditmars? That’s right. You don’t know.
Do You Miss The ‘W’ Train?
There are some things of which we shall never speak. Our passion for the ‘W’ train is one of them. Everybody pour one out for this, the late, great W train. Why you gotta cut me so deep, MTA? WHY?
I Live In Brooklyn, I Neeeever Go To Queens.
Here, this is a map of the boroughs. Notice anything? BROOKLYN AND QUEENS SHARE THE SAME LANDMASS. THE G TRAIN MAKES GETTING BETWEEN OUR CITIES SO EASY A MOUSE’S FART COULD DO IT! Don’t act like you’re all high and mighty just because you wear bespoke spectacles and never leave Metropolitan, mkay?
Is It Tough Being So Far Away?
If you’re worried about the length of a commute, talk to someone who lives in Sheepshead Bay. It takes eight minutes to get to midtown from Astoria — and most of those eight minutes are above ground, so unlike most of you tunnel-dwellers, we’re still in touch with the outside world for most of our trek. Top THAT!
What are you tired of hearing? Share it in the comments!
[Featured Image: Google Maps]